Lori's Dad

I met my ex's dad about five or six times. He was fragile looking with white hair. For some reason I felt a closeness to him and even as I knew he was dying from Alzheimer's (and an Aneurysm) -- I couldn't accept that he was meeting me for the first time, every time. There was something in his eyes that said different. Even Lori said she had no idea whether he remembered me from one day to the next.

He died two days ago. That aneurysm burst and it bled internally. It bled slowly enough for his entire family to say goodbye. I know Lori doesn't understand just yet what a blessing that is.

It's amazing actually. She said that for several hours he had the same clarity he had twenty years ago. That for that short time, she had her dad back.

She's been caring for him for the last few weeks. He was incontinent and would sometimes have no clue who she was. But she said that last week sometime he asked about me. She was starting to tell me the story when she had to let me go, but I wanted to reach through the phone and hug her for saying that. For taking the time, on Christmas no less, to call me and tell me that her father remembered me. I'll never forget that conversation. It just made me feel less crazy that I moped around all day thinking of her dad, and her mom, and her and her sisters. This was a girl I dated for only three months. Crazy right?

Anyway. This Christmas has me emotionally drained. I felt like I should be with Lori and her family. And I felt helpless today.

You know, I used to think I had a problem of falling in love too quickly. And to a great extent I know I do. But I am glad I fell in love with Lori's family because there's something so special about them and I just can not explain it. And I am grateful as hell that I feel this way.