Bruce Lee Vs. Muhammad Ali

Dear Sir: Bruce Lee Vs. Muhammad Ali in a UFC fight to the death.


Much to the chagrin of the masses (mostly my mother and her friends) -- I am back with at least one more Dear Sir. In this month’s “Dear Sir” I was asked a very interesting -- yet obviously under-researched -- question as to who would win in a UFC match between Muhammad Ali and Bruce Lee.

The first thing one must attempt is to possibly answer this question without using such fighter-friendly rhetoric such as “Pound for Pound” or “Has A Punchers Chance.”

I do ponder this. It matters not who would win such an audacious match, only that the winner would inevitably be faced with having to fight Chuck Norris for the throne of most Fearless Killer of All Time.

Many of you (whom we call Nerds) will site that Chuck Norris was beaten to a gruesome death by Bruce Lee in the 1972 thriller, Way of the Dragon. I can only say that when I researched this further, I found said benefactor of said match to also be said director of said movie. Ah haa…..Say that three times really fast.

Look it up people. Chuck Norris did not lose to Bruce Lee. He merely trapped him (and you -- and all of humanity) into thinking he was mortal by allowing this farce to happen…On screen…In the movies…For Fake.

Seriously, do we really think Chuck Norris – Chuck “Mother F-ing” Norris -- could lose to this (dare I say it) Man?

The point is that the fear of winning the aforementioned match, and therefore having to face Chuck Norris in a match resulting in ultimate demise, would be enough to avoid that match from ever taking place.

Thank you questioner for allowing me the time to prove once and for all that I do not have said life. You’re a jerk.